So today I’ve been trying to deal with a clusterfuck problem with my university. They unenrolled me for some reason unbeknownst to me (as I had enrolled for my 2017 semester at the end of last year) and currently they’re only letting me enrol in 2 subjects, when I need to be enrolled in 4. Something I thought I would have completed today, has become a boomerang chore (my least favourite type of chore) that I’ll have to go into uni to sort out in person. I spent 80 mins of my life today on the phone.
That plus I’ve been invited to work on a Foreign Policy White Paper with some students to put together our post grad perspectives on Australian Foreign Policy. This is an exciting opportunity, but I need to timetable in when I will work on it. Perhaps on Friday when at uni?
I’m also applying to join a board. I am quite interested in Governance and wish to join a board to get a proper experience of what it’s like in one. I’ll be dropping in my application for that after work one day this week.
Full uni course load. Joining a board. Volunteering commitments. Work commitments. Then there’s the every day important stuff: I wish to be a good partner to my boyfriend (lord knows he’s patient with all of this stuff and my drive around community activism) and a good friend/daughter/sister too.
Feeling overwhelmed is a constant thing with me. I like challenging myself, I like working hard, but caring a lot can cause burn out. The important thing to remember here: I like caring a lot. I don’t want to stop caring a lot. I want to continue caring a lot. Feeling anxious is connected to feeling burn out from caring a lot. I am excited by opportunities. This is all good stuff! Whilst scary in the moment, it is exciting once achieved.
So one of the things I’m doing is writing down my stressors here so they’re out of my brain. I’m working on little things at a time. I’m spending time with friends in gentle, low key activities that feel rewarding and nurturing.
And I keep reminding myself that things that make me feel happy don’t necessarily make me feel happy in the moment. I hate vacuuming, but love the house when it’s clean. I don’t like writing essays, but hot damn I can’t wait till that piece of paper is in my hands.